Division
by MyHeartDrawsADream
Summary: Just a number of oneshots based on one word prompts. A lot of people seem to be doing it, so I wanted to give it a try. Mostly Salex, might have some Mikita, Nikita/Alex, and Birkhoff/Sonya mentioned in some chapters. Title will probably change, I just can't think of a better one. Leave suggestions! :)
1. Funeral

Secret / Haunted / Mistakes / Innocence / Jealous / Missing / Shadow / Evidence /Weapon / Blood / Trouble / Alive / **Funeral** / Numb / Heartbeat / Gone / Fighting / Echo / Alone / Strength / Return / Protection / Broken / Honor / Soft / Sweet / Heartache / Reach / Fingertips / Shirt / Rain / Tomorrow / New / Wine / Butterflies / Stranger / Beautiful

Funeral

"Your funeral is on Wednesday." Those were the words that kept running through Sean's head as he woke up. Today was the day. To the rest of the world, he would officially be dead. To his sisters. To his comrades. To the government. To everyone.

To say he was upset was an understatement. He was furious. Sure, he had made the choice himself, but it still angered him. He wanted his sisters to at least know the truth. But it was too late for that. The past five days that he's woken up, he's found himself wishing he had actually died. He knew that was something that shouldn't be running through his mind, especially considering all the trouble everyone went through, and everything Alex did to let it be his own choice.

Alex. He turned to his side, hoping to see her lying there, but deep down he knew she wouldn't be. He had pushed her away completely, in such a short period of time. Sure, he felt bad about it, but he couldn't help himself. He was angry, and frustrated. He didn't know how to deal with what was thrown at him. So he took it out on her.

He got out of bed, and headed down to the training area, hoping Alex would be there. It was finally starting to sink in, and he knew he needed to apologize. As he got downstairs, Alex was nowhere in sight. He did see Michael though. "Hey Michael, have you seen Alex by any chance?" He asked, walking past him towards the corridor. He knew Michael would respond fast enough so that he didn't have to stop.

"I think she's in Amanda's old office with Nikita. Why?"

Sean didn't bother answering his question. Instead, he started walking faster towards what he knew was Amanda's former room. He knocked quietly, knowing the two girls would hear him, and slowly opened the door. He saw Alex, standing there in a knee length black dress, with sleeves down to her elbows, and black heels. Nikita was on her knees, fixing the bottom of the dress, when Alex looked up and saw him. Nikita soon followed her gaze, and stood up.

"What are you doing here?" Nikita asked him, as he stepped inside.

"Michael said you guys were here. I actually wanted to talk to Alex for a minute. What's with the outfit?" He asked, looking at the dress again.

Alex scoffed and looked away from him. She had had enough of him pushing her away. He got what he wanted, and now he wants to talk to her? Well that wasn't going to happen.

"Well, considering the press knows that Miss Udinov here was dating the most wanted SEAL, she has to make an appearance at his funeral. Not only that, but she has to give a speech about how much she misses him, and how great he was." Nikita spat, going back to fixing the younger girl's dress.

Alex rolled her eyes, and decided to speak for the first time. "Now, if only all of that were true. But it turns out that one bad thing happens in his life, and he takes it out on the people he claims to love. Funny, that doesn't seem like a 'great' person."

Sean sighed, and walked closer to them. "Alex, can I please just talk to you alone for a minute?"

She looked up at him, and then gave Nikita a look, signaling that it was okay for her to leave. "Make it quick. I have to be there in 20 minutes."

"In that case, I'll put this as simply as I can. I'm sorry for being such a jerk. And I'm definitely going to apologize properly when you get back. But since you're going to the funeral, I need you to do me a favor. This is the only thing I'm ever going to ask from you. I take it you're going to be seeing my sisters. Take a comm with you, and have it on. I need you to talk to them. About anything at all. Even if you just talk about the weather. I just... I need to hear their voices one more time. Please?" He begged, tears clouding his eyes.

Her eyes softened at his desperate tone, and she nodded.

"Thank you," He whispered, and pulled her in for a quick hug.

"No problem, Sean," She said, pulling away and walking outside.

Alex stepped out of the black limo, and made her way to the front of the crowd. Only when she arrived did she notice the large crowd behind her. Many of them in their Navy uniforms, who were most likely his teammates, but a lot more that seemed to just be regular citizens. Sean probably didn't know any of them, and yet they still felt the need to attend a fallen soldier's funeral. That's when she finally realized how much she had taken away from him. All of America was mourning his loss.

She recognized Sean's sisters from the multiple pictures he had of them in his apartment, and quickly made her way over to the two women.

"Hi, you must be Jill and Sandy. I'm Alex," She said, turning to them.

"Alex? It's so nice to finally meet you!" The taller girl said. She assumed that was Jill, considering she was holding a little boy's hand.

"Well, I wouldn't say nice. Your boyfriend's funeral isn't the ideal place to meet his sisters for the first time," she said, putting on her best fake, sad smile.

"Of course not. I'm just happy to finally meet you, even if it's not the best time. Sean... Sean told me... He told us all so much about you. He is... Was very fond of you," Jill replied, stumbling over her words.

Alex felt awful about what happened. She didn't know these girls, but she knew from Sean that they were a really close family. And here they were, desperately trying to hold their tears in, while Alex was faking all of her emotions. His own sisters would never get to see him again, but she, someone who's only known him for a little over a year, would see him again in just a few hours. Sure, they might not be on speaking terms at the moment, but she would still see him. She didn't know how she would be able to deal with actually losing him.

She forced herself to remain upset as the funeral ceremony began. She vaguely paid attention as his former teammates carried what they thought was his body in a coffin. She mostly drowned out the minister talking, telling the crowd who Sean Pierce was, and what he did. She already knew all of this. She barely paid attention as both of his sisters wen up, one by one, saying something about their loving brother. She already knew all of this, and she was nervous about having to speak herself in a few minutes.

When it was her turn, the words flew out of her mouth. Knowing Sean was most likely listening through the comm, she made sure that he knew she really meant what she was saying, but nobody else would know that she was speaking to him. Just like she did with her mother, so long ago, on national television.

The rest of the funeral passed by in a blur, and she watched them lower his coffin into the ground. She forced herself to let out a sob, so that she didn't look like a heartless bitch of a girlfriend, and before she knew it, Jill's son had went over to her, and pulled on her hand.

"It's okay lady. Mommy says he's safe now," she heard the little boy say to her, and she just wanted to smile.

"Thomas, honey, don't bother Alex right now," She hear Jill say to him, calling him away from her.

She smiled sadly, and walked over to them. "He's a cute kid."

"Yeah, he really loved his Uncle Sean," Sandy spoke up, smiling down at her nephew.

They made small talk for a few more minutes, until Alex finally excused herself, saying she needed to head home. Half an hour later, she made her way back into Division, and immediately found herself being pulled into another hug from Sean.

"Thank you," He whispered again, and held her closer for a while.


	2. Rain

Secret / Haunted / Mistakes / Innocence / Jealous / Missing / Shadow / Evidence /Weapon / Blood / Trouble / Alive / Funeral / Numb / Heartbeat / Gone / Fighting / Echo / Alone / Strength / Return / Protection / Broken / Honor / Soft / Sweet / Heartache / Reach / Fingertips / Shirt / **Rain** / Tomorrow / New / Wine / Butterflies / Stranger / Beautiful

**AN: Whoa! This turned out longer than I expected it to be... Oops... :P**

**I'm not really happy with how the ending turned out, but I couldn't figure out how else to end it. And also, sorry for the crappy Alex story. It's really late, and my brain isn't functioning properly anymore :P**

**Also, updates might be a little slow. I've been really busy having to write a bunch of essays, and I gotta start studying for exams soon since they're coming up in a few weeks.**

Rain

Alex awoke with a jolt when the lightning hit a tree right outside of her bedroom window, and it went crashing down with a thud. She sat up in her bed, taking the covers with her, slightly pulling them off of the sleeping figure beside her. Sean subconsciously curled his body, and Alex looked over at him as he pulled some of it back onto himself. She was almost jealous of how peaceful he looked. She had somehow managed to fall asleep before the storm came, and she knew that now that she was awake, she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep.

She crossed her arms around her knees and pulled them up to her chest, laying her head down and closing her eyes tightly. She slowly rocked herself back and forth as she focused on Sean's light snoring, desperately trying to drown out the sound of the heavy wind and the rain hitting against her window.

She had always hated the rain. It reminded her too much of her days in slavery. She particularly recalled the first night that she had tried to escape. It was raining out, much like it was tonight. Earlier that day she had put together a small bag of things that she would need to survive. She had the perfect plan to get away, but she knew that it would result in her living on the streets, for who knows how long. She made sure to leave everything that she could live without in the hopes that she could be far enough away that she couldn't be caught before Vlad and his men had even realized she was gone.

She must have stayed like that for a while, because the next thing she knew, she heard her name being called. She opened her eyes only to see Sean sitting up beside her gazing at her intently, with his arms protectively wrapped around her. "Alex. Alex, what's wrong? I've been calling your name for like, ten minutes. Is everything alright?" Sean asked, concern evident in his voice.

"I'm fine," She said, her voice cracking. She tried to turn her head away from him, but he caught her before she could, and made her look at him. It was then that he noticed she was crying, and he quickly reached up to wipe her tears.

"No, you're not. Alex, talk to me. Please?" He begged, watching her carefully.

"It's nothing. I just... Don't like storms," She choked out, pushing his hands away from her face, and rubbing her eyes vigorously.

He let out a small chuckle, hoping to ease her anxiety a little. "Yeah, clearly." She just glared at him, not finding it even the slightest bit funny. "Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Did something happen?"

She shook her head, and turned her face away. "Something about your family?" Sean pried, knowing she was lying. She shook her head again. "Friends? Russia?" She just kept shaking her head, wiping her eyes once again. Sean sighed. He didn't know what else it would be. It wasn't possible that she was just afraid of storms out of the blue. He knew something had made her like this. And then it hit him. "Your old job?" He said it as more of a statement.

She shook her head again, but a sob accidentally escaped her mouth. Despite her protests, Sean was quick to wrap his arms around her and pull her close to him. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?" He asked, while soothingly rubbing her back. She shook her head again, and clung on to his shirt tightly as another roar of thunder sounded too close to the window. "Alex, come on. Tell me what happened," he whispered again, only to get the same response. "Believe it or not, telling someone usually does help," He said, his voice still gentle. Still nothing.

He decided to try a story of his own. "When I deployed for the first time as a SEAL, we had to go through a few tests. We didn't know they were tests at the time. It was just so they could see who could survive out in the field. I was friends with this one guy. James. We met during the first months of training, and became pretty close friends. Before flying out, I promised I'd watch out for him." She looked up at him, slightly confused, but paying attention nonetheless.

"On our third night there, there was a huge storm and we were still stuck out in the field trying to protect ourselves and attack what we thought were our enemies at the time. He had eyes on one of the targets, and he was hiding behind a large tree. I got word that another comrade was in danger, so I went over to help." His voice cracked a little, the memory all too clear in his mind.

"The storm was getting out of control. The wind had started to pick up even more, and the rain fell harder. We all just wanted to head back to base and call it a night, but we almost had the group of enemy soldiers. Suddenly we heard a loud crash, and I could hear James scream in the distance. I managed to take out the one enemy I was close to, and rushed over to where James had been a few minutes earlier."

"The tree that just ten minutes ago was the perfect hiding spot was now on the ground, with dozens of broken off branches lying around. I could hear James' screams coming from under the tree, but his voice was muffled. I ran over and tried to lift the tree off of him, just enough so that he could get out, but he stopped me. He said he couldn't feel his legs, and that even if I did manage to push the tree out of the way, he wouldn't be able to get out."

"I tried to get help. I figured if I could get one other person to help... To pull him out once I got the tree off of him, that he would survive. He just stopped me again. He spit out some blood, and managed to tell me to give his girlfriend a letter that he had in his jacket pocket. Before I could even say anything else he was gone. The rest of the guys took out the last two targets while I looked for the letter in his pocket, and then we went back to base."

Alex was listening intently, trying to hold back tears. It couldn't have been easy, losing a friend like that. "What happened after?"

"As soon as I got back to the States, I looked for the girl. It took me months to find her, but when I finally did, I gave her the letter. I didn't say anything to her. I didn't even wait for her to open the letter. I just left as soon as I knew it was in her hands. I haven't really looked back since then. I guess I just kinda pushed it out of my head. The memories were too painful."

"Wow, I'm really sorry, Sean," She said sincerely. Now it was him that was on the verge of tears, but somehow he managed to keep his emotions under control.

"There's no need to be. There's nothing anyone could've done. It was just... Bad luck... I guess. It's your turn, by the way," He said, focusing his attention back on her.

She shook her head again, and said, "I can't. I just can't talk about it."

"Come on, you think it was easy for me to tell you all of that? I've never told anyone about it before."

"Never? That doesn't sound like you..."

"This is the first time I ever let myself say it out loud. Like I said before, I just wanted to get rid of the memories, and forget about him completely. But that obviously doesn't work. And it's not gonna work for you either, so you might as well tell someone. Why not tell me? And what better time to do it then now?"

Alex sighed, and decided to take him up on his offer. She gave him vague details about the night she tried to escape from Vlad. "I managed to get away from him. I was probably walking for about two hours, in the middle of the night in the pouring rain. I felt like someone was watching me, but before I could even do anything, whoever it was grabbed me and started choking me. For a second I thought it was Vlad, or one of the men that worked for him. I've seen him bring back some of the girls that tried to escape, which wasn't very often, and it usually ended in a slow, painful death. Not that it would've been much different from the way he treated us there anyway."

"Obviously it wasn't him. But then the guy stopped choking me, and threw me into the river, holding my head under the water. I think for a while I kinda wished it were Vlad instead. I was still high from earlier on in the night, and I was freaking out more than I normally would. The guy probably would've gone through with killing me if Ronnie hadn't grabbed his hand away and pulled me out. Like I said, I was still pretty high, so it's hard to remember all of it, but I do remember Ronnie pushing the guy into the river, and as soon as he did the lightning struck right where he'd thrown him. I don't even know what happened after that. I'm pretty sure I passed out, because the next thing I remember is waking up at Ronnie's house."

Sean smiled down at her and pulled her closer to him. "See? That wasn't so bad, was it? Don't you feel better now?"

"Not really..." She trailed off, not knowing what to say. She didn't want to make him feel bad, but if anything, she felt worse than before.

"Fair enough... I have one question though. Is this the same Ronnie that was your drug dealing boyfriend?" She looked up at him curiously. How did he even know that? Then, as if he read her mind he grinned and said, "I read your files, remember?"

"I didn't know that piece of information was in my files."

"Are you really surprised? Amanda always knows everything."

"That's a good point," Alex said, yawning.

Sean chuckled, and leaned back on the bed, pulling Alex down with him. "Come on, you really should get some sleep. Just try to forget that it's raining. Think about something else."

She really didn't think she could, but she would try. She closed her eyes, listening to his breathing, and oddly enough, she felt herself drift off to sleep.


	3. Secret

**A/N: Guess who's baaack! Okay, this took really long to update, but I was pretty depressed after Sean died, and kinda stopped writing for a while. Lately though, I've been going through some Salex withdrawals while working on a new story *cough*Nikita Crossover Fic*cough* and needed to write something, since there hasn't been any new Salex fics lately, and no one else is really updating theirs either.**

**I honestly don't know where this came from, but I decided to look back at what the prompts were, and chose one, and just wrote. I started it a few hours ago and decided to see where I could go with it. Just a pre-warning, this isn't edited at all, and it turned out way longer than I wanted it to, but it's 5 in the morning and I wanted to post it today, and I won't be able to for the rest of the day since it's my birthday (Yay Me! I'm officially legal age, & my uncle is taking me to the casino for the first time ever; yeah I was one of those people that never got a fake ID, lame, I know, but I didn't really need one). I guess posting it is also kind of a birthday present to myself since I've been feeling pretty down about Salex while writing my other story, so for anyone else who feels this way, this is a happier Salex fic :D**

**PS: Sorry for the long A/N, and also kinda sorry, but not really sorry for how long this turned out. I hope you like it anyway, although, like I said, this was kind of a spur of the moment thing. No editing or planning. I was just writing until I figured out an ending. **

**Secret** / Haunted / Mistakes / Innocence / Jealous / Missing / Shadow / Evidence / Weapon / Blood / Trouble / Alive / Funeral / Numb / Heartbeat / Gone / Fighting / Echo / Alone / Strength / Return / Protection / Broken / Honor / Soft / Sweet / Heartache / Reach / Fingertips / Shirt / Rain / Tomorrow / New / Wine / Butterflies / Stranger / Beautiful

Secret

She looked down at the glowing watch on her wrist. Eleven fifty-two PM. She had been wandering around aimlessly for the past three hours, desperately trying to find him, and she feared she wouldn't reach him in time. She only had eight minutes left before she would lose him again, this time, for good. And she didn't think she would survive if she had to go through that again. She wouldn't want to survive. It was hard enough the last time. Hell, she could hardly keep herself together the time that he left her because she chose Nikita over him. She still hated herself for that.

It's been just over a year since he died in her arms, because of her own mistakes. A month of grieving later, she found out he was still alive. Someone had rescued him that night, after she was too much of a coward to stick around. This unidentified person, who's name she still didn't know, took his body away from Division, and into his own care. He nursed him back to health, and then set him free.

It took him weeks to find her, and when he did, she couldn't believe her eyes. She figured she must have been dreaming. Or maybe Amanda was just screwing with her brain again. She didn't know. All she knew was that none of it was real. He wasn't real. He was dead. She watched him bleed out and die right in front of her.

But then he proved himself. He tried desperately to convince her that he was real. That she wasn't hallucinating. He held her close as she cried into his chest, grabbing handfuls of his shirt, and breathing in the all too familiar scent. It was as if he never left. It took some time, but she finally accepted it. She knew he was real. He wasn't dead. It confused her, but she didn't want to question it. She had missed him too much.

Nevertheless, he told her what she was too afraid to ask. He told her about the man that saved him. About how they knew each other from way back in his SEAL days. All these years, he had thought the man was dead, so when he woke up and saw him, he thought he was dead too. That was the plan right? After all, he clearly remembered himself dying.

After the stories he told her, the two of them decided to keep his life a secret. From Nikita, from Michael, Ryan, Birkhoff, and most of all, from Amanda. So Alex made the choice to leave the group, figuring it would be the safest. Besides, he had wanted her away from them from the start. At the time, she couldn't ever imagine herself abandoning the people she called her family, but this time, she didn't even have to think twice about it. Sean and his safety were so much more important to her. She couldn't lose him again. She wouldn't.

So for the past eight months they've been together, happier than ever. They disappeared; completely off the grid. It was as if neither of them had ever existed. She figured Nikita was either worried sick about her, or assumed she was dead. Either way, no one had any idea where she was. They didn't know she had found Sean, or that the two of them were now living in complete peace, or so they thought. And they definitely didn't know that she was four months pregnant with his baby. In other words, he was her best kept secret. And that was exactly how she wanted it.

Until last week. Amanda had found them. She had figured that they were both alive, and had started tracking them months ago. It took until now for her to actually capture one of them. And of course, that was Sean. She yet again found herself questioning why it wasn't her. Why was it always the people she cared the most about?

So, being her typical, stubborn self, she went out to look for him. She followed the trails Amanda had left behind, she looked for signs of where he might be, just like Nikita had taught her so long ago. Amanda had certain tactics that she would recognize anywhere. She found them fairly easily. Sean was tied up, and he looked like he had been extremely sleep deprived. Her heart broke at the sight.

She was about to make her way over to him, when Amanda stepped into the room. That's when she found out that he was tied to an electrocution table. He screamed in pain, but she wouldn't stop, until Alex finally took a few steps back. Amanda praised her for doing what she was told, and then she sent her on a wild goose chase. She had kept Alex prisoner for the night, and shipped Sean off to who knows where.

She was given hints, in riddle form of course, as to where Sean was being held. She's been following those hints for a week now, and there was still no sign of him. She was starting to fear that Amanda had killed him while she had mistakenly fallen asleep that night. But she was reassured when Amanda had contacted her once again early this afternoon, letting her know that she was close to finding him.

But of course, as is always the case with Amanda, there was a catch. She had until midnight to find him, and rescue him, or else he would die. Without a second thought, she stopped what she was doing, and headed out towards the trail that Amanda had left for her.

The hints stopped coming, and she had no idea where she was going. She was lost. So here she is now, just six minutes left to save him, and she didn't even know where she was. She was starting to get dehydrated, and all she wanted to do was sleep. Being four months pregnant, she wasn't even supposed to be doing this kind of thing. She wasn't supposed to stress herself out, or over work herself. But she couldn't care less right now. She needed to find Sean immediately, and get him out of wherever the hell he was.

Just three minutes until midnight now. She started running at full speed. She didn't even know if she was anywhere close. She knew she had been earlier, but once Amanda stopped helping her, she had no idea if she was getting closer or farther away from Sean. She hoped it was the latter.

She looked down at her watch again. One minute. She kept running until she hit a clearing. There was nothing in sight. It looked almost like the farm Division used to be located under before they blew it up. She had lost hope. There was no way she would find him in less than a minute. She was at least a mile away from anything up ahead, and that was if she was even heading in the right direction. She collapsed onto the grass, as tears started streaming down her face. She couldn't go through this again!

Just then, she heard muffled screams from the distance. She followed the sound, and came to a stop at a sewer. The sound was coming from inside? She pried it open as fast as she could, and hopped down into a giant pool of dirty sewage water. More water was dripping off the sides of the walls, and she was getting soaked. But she didn't care. If this was what she needed to do to save Sean, she would walk through that a million more times.

She ran as fast as the water would allow her, until she reached a set of stairs. She went down, but was stopped abruptly when the path broke off into three different directions. She couldn't hear the screams anymore, so she had no way of knowing which way to go. She checked her watch once more. 12:01. Damn it! She wanted to stop. To just sit down and catch her breath. She was too late anyway. But something kept her going. There was that last little bit of hope that Amanda would give him a few extra minutes. So she quickly chose a path. The middle one.

She started walking straight ahead, remembering what Sean had once told her. If the trail you're on branches off, keep walking straight. The most obvious paths you can choose are either the left or the right. No one ever decides to go straight.

If Sean had any say in where Amanda took him, he would have gone straight. And if Amanda chose for him... Well then she just hoped that Amanda saw it the same way. She picked up her speed, and soon enough, found herself in a room that looked exactly like Amanda's old office back at Division. Her heart started pounding in her chest, and she looked around frantically. Why would Amanda rebuild this? Was she that desperate for her old life?

"Hello, Alex," she heard that smug voice from behind her.

"Where is he?" Alex demanded, turning around to look her right in the eyes.

"Getting right to business, I see. Don't worry. He's still alive. For now. I've been following you ever since you found him, and left Nikita. I must say, I'm surprised you've managed to not go back to her for this long. What is it now, seven? Eight months?"

"That's irrelevant. What do you want with us Amanda?"

"I actually have a proposition for you."

"Well, screw you and your stupid proposition. I'm not doing anything for you."

"Fair enough. I thought you might say that." Amanda started walking towards the door, and beckoned Alex to follow her. When they entered the other room, Alex saw two guards holding Sean down on a hospital bed, and one of them injecting something into his neck.

"Nooo!" Alex yelled as Sean's eyes closed and he fell over. The guards quickly rushed over to Alex and grabbed her arms, not letting her get any closer to Sean.

"Soltoxin. You have one chance. You either do what I ask, and I neutralize the toxin-"

"Or what? He dies? I'm done with your games Amanda. Let him go, or you die."

"Fine. Go ahead and kill me. Is it worth his life? Within an hour, the toxin is going to slowly start to melt his lungs, cutting off all the oxygen to his brain. He'll suffer excruciating pain before he dies, and it'll all be on your conscience, yet again. Is that really what you want Alex? It's one little favor, and he gets the antitoxin. I'll make it an even better offer. I'll neutralize it before you even do anything for me."

"Now why would you do that?" Alex asked skeptically.

Amanda sighed, and walked over to Sean. "Because one hour isn't going to be enough for you to complete the mission." She put her hand on his chest and looked at Alex. "His breathing is already getting slower. You might want to hurry up and make your decision."

"Okay! Okay!" She nodded frantically, as she heard Sean unconsciously gasping for air. She didn't want to re-live that night. "What do you want me to do?!"

"That's simple," she said, and picked up a vial of green liquid, and picked up a clean syringe. "Kill Nikita."

"What?" Alex looked like a deer caught in headlights. She hadn't seen Nikita in almost a year, but she didn't want her to die!

"It's either her, or Sean. The choice is yours Alex. Who's more important to you?"

"That's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair Alex. Hasn't anyone taught you that yet?"

"Please..." She begged, struggling to get away from the men still holding her back.

"I understand it's a tough choice to make, but Sean here is quickly running out of time. Soon enough, time will make the choice for you."

Alex thought for a moment, and closed her eyes. Amanda smiled in victory. She would finally get what she had wanted. Sean was the perfect bait. She knew Alex wouldn't risk his life again.

Before Amanda could get too excited, Alex quickly took out the two guards holding her down, and took one of their guns. She shot them both, and then turned the gun towards the bitch. "Sorry Amanda, but not this time." She pulled the trigger, and Amanda fell to the ground. Alex smiled to herself. It was great finally seeing her dead.

Sean's gasping pulled her out of her daze, and she rushed over to where Amanda had already prepared the syringe for her. She just hoped that it was actually an antidote, as she injected it into Sean's arm.

She stood their waiting for what seemed like hours, as his breathing evened out, and he finally opened his eyes. "Wh-what the hell happened?" He asked as soon as he saw her, his voice cracking.

She smiled down at him and hugged him tightly, deciding to answer his question later. She felt a huge weight off of her shoulder, and she realized that with Amanda dead, they could finally go back to Nikita. Once they found Nikita, she could finally tell her about everything. They were safe. They didn't need to hide, or look over their shoulders anymore. He no longer needed to be her secret.

**A/N: I suck, I know. But review anyway and let me know what you thought? Pretty please? For my birthday? :D**


	4. Shirt

**A/N: Ummm... So, I'm really sorry about this...The past few days I've been reading some Alex centric fanfictions and wanted to write one that focused on her addiction (like, I was aiming for pre-season 1 stuff), and instead, this happened. I was intending for it to be angst-y, but not like this :/ I don't know what happened here... I'm sorry for disappointing you guys...**

Secret / Haunted / Mistakes / Innocence / Jealous / Missing / Shadow / Evidence /Weapon / Blood / Trouble / Alive / Funeral / Numb / Heartbeat / Gone / Fighting / Echo / Alone / Strength / Return / Protection / Broken / Honor / Soft / Sweet / Heartache / Reach / Fingertips / **Shirt** / Rain / Tomorrow / New / Wine / Butterflies / Stranger / Beautiful

Shirt

She was running through the crowded streets on a cold, autumn night. The rain was falling heavily, soaking through her clothes, making it harder and harder to keep moving. She could hardly see what was in front of her, not only from the dark path surrounding her, but from the dizziness and the pounding in her head. She looked around for a brief moment and figured it must have been almost 12 hours without a hit. The drugs were starting to wear off and she was crashing, fast. But she couldn't stop now. She knew she needed more so she could keep going. She wanted to keep going.

She couldn't remember how long she'd been running for. Hours now. She didn't know where she was running to, but it made her feel a hell of a lot better. It had been seven years since _he_ had died in her arms. Seven years since she had run off from the only family she knew, and back to a life she swore she would never go back to; a life she never wanted to go back to. Seven years since she had started using again. And now she was right back to where she had started. Back to barely being able to go a full day without taking anything.

The pain was getting unbearable. She needed to find somewhere they would sell it to her cheap. She barely had any money left. Her head was throbbing and her body was protesting against all the stress she had been putting on it lately. She knew that her body couldn't handle it anymore. She was overusing; pushing too far, and she knew it would only be a matter of time before her body just shut down completely. But she would not let herself rest until she got what she desperately needed. She wandered around for another hour, with no luck. She stumbled over to a brick wall, and leaned against it, trying to catch her breath. She could hardly move anymore, let alone walk. As impossible as it seemed, she would just have to make it through the night without another hit. She put her hand up to her face and wiped away the tears that had now started streaming down her face. Why the hell was she crying?! _Stop crying, you filthy whore. _She didn't even have time to finish her thoughts before she fell to the ground in exhaustion, and let the darkness consume her.

* * *

Alex groaned in her sleep, subconsciously clutching her stomach with one hand, and throwing the other over her eyes, blocking the sunlight that was now shining in her face. She was laying in the fetal position on the cold, hard streets of Detroit, using an old ripped and ragged shirt trying to shield herself from the freezing wind, but failing miserably. Her whole body hurt. She felt like she was thrown into a meat processor, ground up, and fed to the wolves, which, in a way, she figured wasn't too far from the truth.

She slowly opened her eyes and sat up, taking in her surroundings. The last thing she remembered was a sign that told her she had arrived in Michigan. She had come full circle. How the hell did she even end up here? When did she stop running? She must have sat up too fast, because she immediately felt a warm, putrid feeling rising up in her throat. She had just enough time to throw the shirt to the side before she threw up all over the sidewalk.

"Gross..." She said in disgust, looking at the contents of her stomach lying on the pavement. She wanted to stand up and move away from the mess, but she was too weak. Instead, she just leaned back against the wall, taking deep breaths, and tightly clutching the sweater to her chest. _Withdrawal sucks_,she thought, making a mental note to herself to stock up as soon as she had enough energy to stand up again. In the meantime, she closed her eyes and drowned herself in her memories.

_**Flashback:**_

_ The two of them were sitting on his couch in a peaceful silence, just enjoying each others company. "Hey, Alex..." Sean trailed off, waiting to get her attention._

_ "Hmm?" She asked, not looking up from the magazine she was flipping through. She was clearly only looking at the pictures, and so he knew he had her full attention._

_ "You wanna play a game?" He asked with just a hint of a devious look in his eyes._

_ Alex looked up and raised an amused brow. "What? Are you serious?"_

_ He nodded eagerly, looking like a child in a candy shop. "Come on, it'll be fun! I promise." He was giving her a look that she couldn't resist, and so she gave in. His game of choice: Would You Rather. She just laughed at him and told him to start the game. "Alright, let's start with something simple. Would you rather be stuck in an elevator for three days with someone you love but then never see them again, or be stranded on a deserted island for the rest of your life with someone you hate?"_

_ "Umm... I'll go with the elevator. I'd take three days over nothing any day."_

_ He smiled down at her in awe. He knew what she was referring to, and even though it was a bad comparison, he couldn't help but wonder if he would ever mean that much to her. "Good answer. Okay, your turn."_

_ "Okay, would you rather swim in a pool of piranha's, or run in the middle of a busy street?"_

_ "Oooh, ouch. That's a tough one. Uh, I think I'll take the busy street. Since you didn't specify when I had to run, I feel like I could just run across when I knew I wouldn't get flattened like a pancake." He smirked at her, knowing he'd won this won._

_ "Cheater!" she laughed, and pushed his arm playfully._

_ "Hey now! Be nice! It's your own fault for not being specific enough," he teased. "Would you rather always have to say everything on your mind, or never be able to speak again?"_

_ "Hmm, I don't know. There's certain things I don't want anyone to know, so I think never being able to speak again might be an easier option. Would you rather always lose, or never play?"_

_ "That's easy. Never play. Who wants to lose all the time?" He asked jokingly, and she just laughed again, shaking her head at him. They played a few more rounds before Sean decided to change up the game a bit. "Okay, let's make things a bit more interesting. Would you rather be sexually attracted to fruit, or change gender every time you sneeze?"_

_ As soon as he finished the sentence, her jaw dropped and she blinked at him in shock. "Ar-are you kidding me? What kind of question is that?!" She asked incredulously once she found her voice._

_ "Hey, don't judge me, the game was starting to get boring!"_

_ "So your brilliant idea is a fruit fetish or an involuntary sex change?!"_

_ "Yup! Now pick one," he said, winking at her._

_ "Oh gosh... Umm... Let's go with change gender. I'll just make sure to sneeze twice every time," she smiled in triumph._

_ "Damn it!" He muttered, defeated._

_ "Alright, two can play at that game. Would you rather have sex with a goat without anyone ever finding out, or not have sex with a goat but have everyone think you did?"_

_ "Okay, that's um... I don't like this game..." He frowned._

_ "Too bad, you have to answer. It's not so fun when it's you, huh?" She smirked at him, watching him consider his options. Oh, this was good._

_ "Fine, I'd rather not have sex with the goat, because I'm gonna pull an Alexandra here and say, screw what everyone thinks. I know what I did or didn't do, and nobody else's opinions matter." God, how she missed hearing her name leave his lips. She loved the way he said it. She cringed when anybody else called her by her full name, but when he said it, she swore she could melt. "Does that answer not suffice, Miss Udinov?" He asked after a few moments of silence. Now he was just doing it on purpose._

_ She pulled herself out of her thoughts, and gritting her teeth, she retorted with, "That answer is fine, Mr. Pierce."_

_ A smug smile played on his lips. "I thought so. Alright my turn. Would you rather die before the love of your life, or after?" He asked, his voice turning serious._

_ She looked up into his deep brown eyes and swallowed hard, not knowing how to answer. The thought of losing Sean had haunted her since the early days of their friendship, and it only got stronger once they actually became a couple. She had lost too many people in her life already, and they both knew that in this job, either one of them could die any day. She hated knowing that. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him too. So, still looking into his eyes, and as if it were the easiest question in the world, she responded with, "Before."_

_ He nodded his head in understanding, not even bothering to ask for an explanation. He knew why she thought that way. Hell, that would have been his answer too. Neither one of them dared to break eye contact as he leaned down to capture her lips in a sweet kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, not wanting to let the moment end. The game was over anyway._

_ He pulled away just enough so he could look into her eyes again, and leaning his forehead against hers, he said, "I love you, Alexandra Udinov," before pressing his lips to hers again._

_**End Flashback**_

Alex let out an angry growl and threw her head back against the brick wall, just hard enough to shake the memory. _That didn't help at all_, she thought to herself. If anything, it just made her feel even worse. To this day, she still had the same answer to his question. She would have given her own life without a second thought if it meant that he could live his.

Tears were now flowing freely down her face as she held his shirt closer to her. It was the only thing she had left of him, and even that was slowly disintegrating right in front of her. She took it with her everywhere she went, and over the years the fabric had completely worn out. She was surprised it was still in one piece. You couldn't even tell it was a shirt anymore; it just looked like a dirty rag that should have been thrown out a long time ago. But she couldn't throw it out. She couldn't throw away the last memory she had of him.

She continued sobbing, and doubled over in pain, landing right in the vomit. She screamed and cried as the pain got worse and worse. What was happening? It's never hurt this much before. Not even when Nikita was trying to get her clean for the first time, all those years ago.

Minutes, maybe hours pass, and the pain just seems to get worse. She can't get up. She can't move. She just hugs the worn out shirt closer to her body, as she lies there scared, and in more pain than she could ever remember being in. She vaguely feels herself throwing up again, although she cannot see it, as her vision has blurred completely. She closes her eyes tightly, a part of her hoping that the pain will subside, but she knows it won't. She thought the drugs had been wearing off last night, but now she finally realized what was happening. She had gotten just a little too much into her system, and it took until now for her to realize it.

She had yet again gone too far with the drugs, except this time, there was no one around to save her. No Nikita. She had abandoned them long ago, and they eventually gave up trying to find her. And Sean was no longer around to pull her away from her stupidity. This time, she was going to die here, all alone. And she couldn't blame anyone but herself.

So she lies there for what feels like days, and maybe it was, she doesn't know. She clings on to the remains of the shirt with whatever strength she has left in her, and barely audible, she says "Sean," one last time as she thinks, _he would not be proud of you right now, you stupid bitch. _Her eyes finally close as she lets out her final breath, and the pain subsides.

**A/N: I have nothing else to say, just that I'm sorry about this... I also didn't intend for Alex to die. This is just what happens when I decide that it's a good idea to stay up all night and write... Ooops :/ (With that said, this is yet another un-edited chapter, so if you see any mistakes, bear with me. I pulled an all nighter writing this)**


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